AGAIN, I'M BROKENHEARTED..!

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        Before I realized how precious you're to me, I was always being two-tongued girl. When I was near you, I never wanted to care about you, but inside my heart, I felt missing and I cried when you left me behind. You know, I was too ashamed to tell all I felt toward you. Because I was so afraid that you would become bitter to me and see me as a cheap stupid girl. That's why I stopped myself to be aggressive to you.
        If you saw all of my entries about you, you probably would be cooler to me. Having been loving you almost 4 years makes my feeling deeper toward you. Now, when you leave this place and also leave me, I don't know what's going on with myself. But my heart is always sick and crying whenever  I see all things about you. I still can't forget every little thing you had done and said to me, it all never fades from my memory.
        I still remember your voice, and all thing you used to do that I saw. Don't know how fool I am that always write about you and all what I feel. I've been losing your contact for so long, and trapped in my own fool mind. Always writing and writing, yeah that's all I can do to remind all my memories with you. From the very first time I saw your face, heard your voice and almost everything. If you fall in love with somebody, and she never wants to care about you, but you love her so much and you can't love anyone except her, WHAT YOU CAN DO?? That's what I'm feeling for you boy.
       It's probably useless writing all above for you. And you will never see this anymore. Yeah, just keeping all my torturing love inside my heart. I know I'm never gonna be with you. No more and  no way. Whereas, I alway pray for you every night, before I lie asleep, wishing you would see me sometime. But I think it's all impossible. You just don't love me anymore, do you? I wish myself could be tougher whenever I see you even with another girl beside you...

"Just believe, you can find your true love someday, someway." 

STORY OF THE HEART

00.21 Edit This 0 Comments »

    My love life is ironically tragic. I even can't love anyone except you, guy. When I texted you, you never even replied it. I actually really miss the moment when you sweetly texted me and said " good nite, have a nice dream. Don't forget to dream about me.". Hei, have you ever realized how patient I waited for you to reply?. Didn't you know I worried about you all the time? Just tell me what should I do for you to understand about my feeling. If mamma knew the situation now, she probably could help me to make you feel the same. I can't hardly move from you. You're the most irresistible guy that magically can attract me even when you do nothing.
  
   Y'know the everlasting moment ever was when you came to my home. Though you only gave the paper back, I'm still missing that moment. They might think I'm crazy, cuz others will always be like that. But only one thing in my mind that drives me crazy. Crazy for you, crazy for everything you do. I'm blind in this matter they call love. When you came, that made me wondered how beautiful my life was. That made me flyin high. Though you never did anything for me. That's all the feeling of almost 4 years hoping for love. 
    
   Because a hunger heart never stops its way to get the feeder. 

YOU'RE ATTRACTING

23.58 Edit This 0 Comments »
 I hope it can inspire you to make some writting. Though it seems like a sharing..lol

Oh boy, you're single and attracting.
I saw there's a smile beneath your frown.
That's the very first day I met the most exciting boy like you.
And you came when my heart felt empty and incomplete.
We never knew each other.
But I started the first step,
Then you continued till this moment now.
So can you guess what you need now?
You have no choice anyway,
Cuz you only need someone like me.
Not perfect for them,
But only just perfect for you.
Yes, I'm gonna tell you the best
Yes, I'm gonna treat you right
And If I had never met you,
All things would've seemed so flat and cold.

By : Wendyani Caroline 

MOST OF SONGS IN MY PLAYLIST TELL ABOUT ME

23.43 Posted In Edit This 0 Comments »
     Gosh, last night I just listened to my mp3 player. And suddenly, I realized most of songs I'd listened told about my love life. The songs were played randomly, but somehow the songs always sang about my life. I didn't know how could it happen. They're:
1. The Corrs (What Can I do, The Hardest Day, & Radio)
2. M2M (Pretty Boy & The Day You Went Away)
3. S Club 7 (Have You Everf & Never Had a Dream Come True)
4. MLTR (Nothing to Lose)
    After listening them, I suddenly started to cry and contemplate what I'd done. But I couldn't cry, It probably because I was so hurt even the only one crying was my heart, not my eyes. I was asleep and I dreamt about him. In my dream, there were so many people i'd known well, we're on the vacation. Somehow, there's him shadowed me wherever I belonged to. But when I asked him to help me, he seemed so cruel and didn't wanna help me anymore. I don't know what's my dream supposed to. Yeah, recently I always dream about him. I still remember his eyes, his saying, and every little thing he did.
    This is the part of a song that really tells about what I'm feelin now.
"When loving you was my finest hour, but leaving you , the hardest day of my life." 
The Hardest Day - The corrs    

WHAT'S MY 17TH BIRTHDAY PLAN? AND WHAT KIND OF PARTY I WANNA HAVE?

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A a a.... Talking about 17th birthday party, I will celebrate my best moment on January 4th next year. I can't wait for that. My mom always discusses about that, she said " What kind of dress you wanna wear, Mei? Where is the good place for celebrating your 17th birthday party ha?" and bla bla bla. Y'know I'm often bored with her saying. Hmmm.. but I think I have many plans for that. Let's see below :
1. I wanna wear kinnda oldies dress or may be victorian dress, but the problem is, will everyone use the same 
    with mine? hmm..
2. I wanna ask my violin teacher to play kindda duet with me. I'm planning to play BOND - ALLEGRETTO       and 
    DUEL. Isn't it good?
3. I wanna invite only 50 of my friends I have known. And surprisingly, inviting *beep* has been always in my 
    mind. 
Ya, those all in my plan, but I don't know what will happen next. 17th birthday for me is where we can be called mature enough, we're not teens again. But we are growing to be mature. Honestly, I just can't wait for that moment. Yeah, at least if he would do so. I will have some spesial friends to entertain me and I will also give them some appreciations. Ya ya ya.. lol

MY LAST WISHES

23.04 Edit This 0 Comments »
          Lord, you know this is the last day and my last chance of meeting him and also telling him goodbye. But I was so fuc*in stupid this morning. I was faster than him coming to that place. I really  can't stand being like this..! I never expected that i was just so fool with my foolish thoughts. The plan that I'd planned a day before goodbye had gone cruelly. Yeah, and if there's no more chance to tell him goodbye, my deepest heart only just can wish he would never forget the times when we felt crush on each other. And I also kidheartedly wish he can pass his FE.

        I believe someday, I will see you smile to me, though in the same situation, I will also see you with another girl better than me standing beside you and loving you. Then years later, I'm gonna live my empty school days without seeing and greeting you. I've hopelessly realized that I'm totally addicted. Aaah, it's useless rememorizing every little thing we'd done. Sweet or even hurt, I passed it happily. For now till my school days are through, before coming to school, I will pray for you, I promise. Everytime I walk through my house.

        I'll be happy if I see you in a white doctor's coat and with a "dr" word before your name. Just succeed your dreams, boy. I will always support you behind, unknownly, and wholeheartedly. And if you read all my writtings for you, don't blame yourself for knowing me, but just blame myself that have been stupidly mad at you.

       It physically might end here. But not in my heart. Because there's no word to tell you goodbye. You're forgiven and never forgotten... 

THE HATE LETTER

08.08 Edit This 0 Comments »
Read this "HATE letter". It is so funny and creative. This is a loveletter from a boy to a girl.... However, the girl's father does not like him and want them stop their relationship......and so..the boy wrote this letter to the girl..he knows that the girl's father will definitely read this letter..

1 "The great love that I have for you
2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3 grows every day. When I see you,
4 I do not even like your face;
5 the one thing that I want to do is to
6 look at other girls. I never wanted to
7 marry you. Our last conversation
8 was very boring and has not
9 made me look forward to seeing you again.
10 You think only of yourself.
11 If we were married, I know that I would find
12 life very difficult, and I would have no
13 pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14 to give, but it is not something that
15 I want to give to you. No one is more
16 foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
17 able to care for me and help me.
18 I sincerely want you to understand that
19 I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20 if you think this is the end. Do not try
21 to answer this. Your letters are full of
22 things that do not interest me. You have no
23 true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
24 I do not care for you. Please do not think that
25 I am still your boyfriend."

So bad!! However, before handing over the letter to the girl, the boy told the girl to "READ BETWEEN THE LINES", meaning-only to read 1.3.5.7.9.11.13.15.17.19.21.23.25. (Odd Numbers) So..Please try reading it again! It's so smart & sweet.... :) 

 

THAT WAS KINDDA DAMN THINGS!

04.38 Edit This 0 Comments »
Yeah, this afternoon, I got paroxysm that time. While I was telling my senior's scores, my math teacher asked a fu*kin question. He said " Are you gettin a crush with *beep*? It's been such a long gossip". I suddenly was so shocked hearing he asked me that way. "Haa? It's totally WRONG. I'm not!"


Then I finally went to toilet just for calming down myself after hearing that. Huffh, from the deepest of my heart, I said " I'd just told lie to that man..! Oh man, I'm really sorry telling you lie". But I knew he knew me telling lies. Hah, I guess that's just the only way I could do to hide all away. It's so embarassing me. At that time, I kinnda wanted to scream loudly. But y'know, my mamma told me not to think about him again. She said that I could get a boy better than him. Yeah, I guess. I guess mamma was right. I can't be longer writting all now. So I promise this night, I'll finish it best.


I still remember my status in my facebook,
"If you love someone, don't wait till tomorrow to tell him/her. Maybe that next day will never come at all."


Aaaaaarggh that made me worried. Oh boy, trust me, someday before you go, I will sooner tell all what I feel..
Bye now.. lol


Enjoy reading